The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But for parents who have lost a child, this time of year can feel like a painful reminder of absence, silence, and “what should have been.” Grief doesn’t pause for twinkling lights or festive songs—it often deepens.
At The Henzi Foundation, we understand this struggle deeply. Through The Frankie Fund, we help grieving families with the crushing financial burden of funeral expenses so that they can focus on healing. But just as important as financial relief are the rituals and practices that help parents carry their grief with compassion during difficult seasons.
Here are some meaningful ways to honor your child’s memory and create gentle rituals of healing during the holidays:
🌟 Light a Candle of Remembrance
Lighting a candle each evening during the holiday season can serve as a powerful reminder that your child’s light continues to shine in your heart. You may wish to set up a small table or shelf as a “memory corner” with photos, keepsakes, or letters.
The Compassionate Friends hosts an annual Worldwide Candle Lighting every December, where families across the globe light candles to remember children gone too soon:
https://www.compassionatefriends.org/wcl/
Good Grief offers practical ideas for creating memory rituals, including candle lighting and setting aside sacred spaces:
https://good-grief.org/resources/
GriefShare suggests candle lighting ceremonies as part of holiday remembrance, offering both symbolic meaning and community support:
https://www.griefshare.org/holidays
For inspiration on creating a home altar or memory corner, the MISS Foundation provides resources and examples of rituals for remembrance:
https://missfoundation.org/
You can also explore personalized remembrance candles and holders, available through memorial artisans and platforms like Etsy:
https://www.etsy.com/market/memorial_candle
💌 Write to Your Child
Writing a letter to your child is one of the most tender and healing rituals grieving parents can practice, especially during the holidays. It gives you space to pour out your heart, to express what cannot always be spoken, and to maintain a bond of love that continues beyond physical presence.
In your letter, you might share:
- What you miss most about them.
- The traditions you wish they could have experienced.
- How you carry their memory forward in your daily life.
- Hopes or prayers you still hold for them.
Some families place these letters into memory boxes or journals, creating a collection of written love that grows over time. Others choose to release their letters in symbolic ways:
- Balloon releases (with biodegradable balloons) can serve as a visual reminder of sending love skyward.
- Lantern releases (such as sky lanterns or floating water lanterns) offer a beautiful, gentle ritual of remembrance.
You don’t need to be a “writer” to do this. The act of sitting quietly, pen in hand, and speaking directly to your child on paper is what matters most. The Compassionate Friends describes this as part of “continuing bonds,” the process of maintaining connection and meaning after loss.
Helpful resources:
- The Compassionate Friends — support groups and writing resources:
https://www.compassionatefriends.org/ - What’s Your Grief — “Writing Through Grief” guide and prompts:
https://whatsyourgrief.com/journaling-writing-grief/ - Memory boxes and keepsakes on Etsy:
https://www.etsy.com/market/memory_box_for_loss
Whether tucked into a box, shared with family, or released into the night sky, writing to your child becomes a ritual of love—a reminder that though their life was brief, their impact is eternal.
🎄 Include Them in Your Traditions
It’s okay to adapt your holiday traditions. Hang a special ornament in their honor, cook their favorite dish, or leave an empty chair with a flower at the dinner table. These small acts validate your child’s place in your family story.
Some families create personalized ornaments or decorations each year as a way of keeping their child’s memory alive. You can find many thoughtful options on Etsy that allow names, dates, or symbols to be engraved or printed:
https://www.etsy.com/market/memorial_christmas_ornament
Others choose to prepare a dish their child loved, or incorporate foods that represent their heritage or favorite flavors. Sharing this meal with family can become an act of remembrance.
Leaving a physical space—an empty chair with a candle or flower—at the dinner table is another gentle way to acknowledge their presence in your heart during the season. This ritual is often encouraged in grief literature as a way of validating the reality of loss while honoring continuing bonds.
The MISS Foundation also shares guidance on incorporating loved ones into traditions and creating rituals that carry meaning:
https://missfoundation.org/
And for more ideas on memorializing children during the holidays, “GriefShare” offers a collection of seasonal suggestions:
https://www.griefshare.org/healing/holidays
Lean on Community
Grief often feels isolating, especially during the holidays when celebrations abound. Connecting with others who understand your experience can bring comfort and the reassurance that you’re not alone.
Consider joining these bereavement support options:
- The Compassionate Friends offers local chapters, online Zoom meetings, and 12 moderated Facebook groups—support tailored to parents, siblings, and families grieving the death of a child.
https://www.compassionatefriends.org/help-for-the-holidays/
https://www.compassionatefriends.org/ - MISS Foundation provides counseling, advocacy, education, and healing retreats—like the serene Selah Carefarm—designed specifically for families who have lost a child.
https://www.missfoundation.org/ - Grieving Parents Support Network offers a private Facebook peer-support group (“May We All Heal”) and the GPS Network group for sharing thoughts and memories in a safe online space.
https://grievingparents.net/grief-support/ - Bereaved Parents of the USA (BPUSA) connects parents, grandparents, and siblings through self-help and peer support.
https://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/ - Brighter Days Family Grief Center lists key resources like Star Legacy Foundation, The Compassionate Friends, and others for online and local support.
https://brighterdaysgriefcenter.org/resources/online-resources/ - Online Grief Support Forums such as OnlineGriefSupport.com or Grief Healing offer moderated spaces for sharing, including discussions guided by certified grief counselors.
https://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/
https://www.verywellmind.com/best-online-grief-support-groups-4842333 - Cleveland Clinic Hospice Bereavement Support hosts online and in-person group sessions—some specific to child loss, others for general grief—through the end of 2025.
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/patients/information/bereavement/support-groups - The Kids Connecting Parents App facilitates connections between grieving parents (especially in regional areas) by matching them through geolocation and shared experiences.
[Search for “Kids Connecting Parents App” online for current access details.]
Peer voices from Reddit highlight how meaningful community can be:
“A lot of churches have grief support groups; you do not have to be practicing your faith to join a group… You also can call your local hospital, they often hold support groups.”
— Reddit user on r/GriefSupport (Reddit)
“This morning I attended my first bereavement support group. It is a walking group… it’s been two months since my mom passed, and this morning was the first time I felt seen and had a moment of light.”
— Another Reddit user—on how sharing even small moments in community can be healing (Reddit)
🌱 Care for Yourself
Grief is exhausting. Give yourself permission to say “no” to holiday gatherings that feel overwhelming. Instead, prioritize activities that nurture your spirit: a quiet walk, journaling, prayer, or simply resting. Healing often comes in these moments of gentle self-care.
For guided practices in mindfulness and grief meditation, Hospice Foundation of America offers helpful resources:
https://hospicefoundation.org/Grief-(1)/Mindfulness-and-Grief
What’s Your Grief provides practical self-care strategies, from journaling prompts to managing social situations:
https://whatsyourgrief.com/self-care-for-grievers/
Grief Healing Blog also shares weekly updates with ideas for restorative self-care and coping:
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/
The National Alliance for Children’s Grief offers caregiver resources that emphasize rest and self-nurture during emotionally heavy seasons:
https://nacg.org/resources/
For faith-based comfort, GriefShare’s daily devotional email series delivers words of encouragement and reflection:
https://www.griefshare.org/dailyemails
You Are Not Alone
At The Henzi Foundation, we believe no parent should have to carry the weight of grief alone—financially or emotionally. Every dollar donated to The Frankie Fund goes directly to funeral homes and service providers, easing one of the heaviest burdens families face after the loss of a child.
This holiday season, as you honor the memory of loved ones, we invite you to stand with grieving families. Together, we can bring light to their darkest days.